


The Morning After

by took_skye



Series: Living For the Night [23]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Adolescent Sexuality, Alternate Universe - Noir, F/M, POV First Person, POV Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-01
Updated: 2011-03-01
Packaged: 2017-10-22 22:03:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/243036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/took_skye/pseuds/took_skye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After their first night together both man and monster have worries...and both help the other talk them out in their own way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Morning After

  
_""I am prepared for the worst, but hope the best." ~ Benjamin Disraeli_

***///***

I wake up to an empty bed, but her scent still thick in the air. Sex and blood. Both are stronger than ever before and, despite any sense of appropriateness I have, I find myself drawing deep breaths to get more.

I twist to sit up, feel the sting of clawed skin on my back, and recall the reason why the smells of Lilith Foyet are so very strong. She’d been in my bed. The one place I’d promised myself was off-limits and I took her there myself. Worst yet, the very memories of it cause that desire for her to rise up again. Her paled skin with the strawberry gashes and that way she growls out each of her moans…it’s enough to hunt her down and have her again.

I shake off the thoughts as quickly as they come and dress fully before heading out into the rest of the apartment.

I find her almost immediately. She sits on the couch in my shirt from last night reading a book. _Lolita_.

“I suppose that’s meant to be funny?” I ask, showing more frustration than intended.

“Tickles me,” she laughs out before putting the book down with a sigh. “Oh relax, Jason, it was a joke.”

“A poor one.”

Lil starts to get up from the couch with a slight smirk. “Don’t start getting all sensitive on me now, Jason.” She heads over to me, her smirk becoming a smile. “Last night –“

“Was the result of weakness on my part,” I cut in.

“Oh really?” Lil’s brows pick up with her pitch.

“Yes.”

She starts to smirk, shake her head, before giving a mock pout. “Do you think I’m a baby, Jason?”

The question throws me, I answer on instinct. “What? No, not at all.”

She smiles. “Do you think I’m some little wide-eyed innocent schoolgirl?”

I can’t stop my smile at seeing hers. “No, I don’t.”

“Then why are you acting like I am one?” The smile’s gone under the slow boil of her annoyance. “Whatever innocence you see yourself as having destroyed last night you better look closer at, Jason. I haven’t been pure since I was ten years old and that wasn’t because of you, it was because of my father.”

She’s referring to the killer inside her’s true first…the first human kill. She told me the story of how her father made his former partner Lil’s tenth birthday gift. She described the death in detail, the first feelings of deep want and need and satisfaction that came from it. I recall these things and see her point, see just how right she might be, see how little her innocence was likely affected by what we did last night.

“You’re not Humbert Humbert and I’m not Lolita, so let’s not start playing into those roles, okay?”

I smile some, wondering if she read the whole book or just the back cover, as I nod a little. “If you insist. But it is still something we need to talk about, Lil.”

“I know.” She folds easily as she reaches out to touch my chest not unlike a woman would her lover on TV. It’s an attempt at affection that I rather appreciate.

“How about I make us some breakfast?” I offer as I lead her towards the small dining table and then continue on into the kitchen. “Bacon and cheese omelet?”

“How’d you know?”

I remind myself that we promised each other the truth before answering. “It’s what you always have the mornings after kills.”

“I think, technically, you’d have killed me last night.” She laughs, untroubled that her preference in food is the same whether post-coital or post-kill.

Unsure how to reply I ignore her comment as I work on the bacon. “So how do you feel this morning?”

“Sore, but less than last night.”

“That will fade as you gain experience.”

“Too bad, I like it.”

“You liked the pain from last night as well, wanted it even. Why?” It’s a question I’ve held onto since last night.

She shrugs some as her bare feet climb their way to the top of the chair nearest her. “There’s a rush in pain for me, heightens everything else.”

“You still feel that rush now?”

“No, now it’s just…calming.”

“Calming?” I turn the bacon over as it starts to sizzle before going to prepare the eggs.

“Like when I cut my arms.”

I look over at her. My shirt hides little of her bottom half as she sits. I can follow painted toenails to smooth calves, then thighs that are lined pink and red like her arms right up to the soft rounding of her buttocks. I look away to concentrate. “It satisfies your urges?”

“Somewhat, yeah.” There’s a moment or two of silence before she adds. “That’s not the only reason I liked it though.”

I pause from the meal to look at her once again and wait. Just wait…she’ll continue on her own, she always does when she starts the conversation.

“That whole bonding thing,” she looks directly at me. “I think kinda get it.”

I pull the bacon off the heat and head over to her. She pulls her feet back to herself so that I may have the chair beside her. “Tell me, Lil.” I lean in, give her my full attention.

“Well, it…it’s like a kill, sorta.”

“How so?”

“The other person shows you things, sides of themselves, that they don’t show everyone else. They’re…at your mercy, in a way.”

“Yes, they are.”

“There’s a lot of trust involved.”

“Yes, there is.”

“And you trust me?”

“Yes, I do.”

Lil’s face grows almost soft with worry as she bites on her lip and looks down some. Rarely is she truly unable to look me in the eyes.

“Lil, what’s wrong?” I edge up in my seat a little, offer my hand on the table to her.

“Nothing.”

“Lilith.” Her full name gets her attention and she looks up once again, seemingly upset. If I didn’t know her better I’d say she was on the verge of crying. “Sweetheart, what is it? You can tell me, you can tell me anything.”

As suddenly as that weakness came to her, it leaves. She stands up over where I sit and glares down, cold and hard. “You shouldn’t trust me so much, Jason. I could kill you and…feel nothing.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“You don’t think I could kill you?”

“No, I don’t think you could feel nothing in doing it.”

She snorts out a small laugh. “No, you’re right, I’d feel something.” The girl takes a step closer. “Wet.”

I know what she’s doing, trying to scare me, disturb me into tossing her out, but I’m not sure why. I already know her urges, know what they drive her to do and feel, and yet she’s still trying to push me away with them...or maybe it's something more? Deeper? “What’s this really about, Lil?”

“Why do you trust me so much? Why are you putting yourself at my mercy, Jason? You know my urges are growing, I’m growing, and even you’ve pointed out that neither of us know what I’m truly capable of.”

I smile softly at her. “You care.” I’m answering all her questions, all her concerns, and all of mine as well. If she didn’t care, she’d never bring this up in the first place. Instead she’d have continued happily, without second thought, from our night together. Instead she’s panicking.

“What if that’s not enough?”

“It is.”

“But…”

I don’t let her finish this worry, just like she wouldn’t let me finish mine earlier. Instead I reach out, take her by the hand and pull her until she settles sideways onto my lap. I smile. “Do you think I’m some weak little victim completely unaware of the potential dangers around me?”

She smiles softly, enjoys having me play with the words that came out of her mouth just like she so often does to mine. “No, I don’t.”

“Then why are you acting like I am one, Lil?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugs out with an almost guilty smile. Then she confesses. “I don’t want to be the cause of hurting you, ever, but don’t know how long until I can’t help it.”

“We’ll look at the options in dealing with that if it happens.”

“Really?” I’ve caught her interest and she throws an arm around my neck. “Like what, Jason? Handcuffs, chains, and a dog collar?”

My laugh comes out with hers. “Not exactly what I meant.”

“Could be fun though.” She turns herself so that her back is to my chest and lounges on me like a beach chair. “All that control, all that struggling.”

“Lil.” I warn because I know what she’s doing. Provoking.

She laughs and, hands on my thighs, shifts herself against my lap so I can feel she’s not wearing anything beyond my shirt “Oh come on, Jason, you can’t say it’s never crossed your mind.”

“No, I can’t, Lil,” I decide to play along, “but there’s plenty of bonding we can do before we start in on bondage.”

She gives a laugh suited to her age as she propels up from my lap. “You dirty old man,” she teases.

“You wicked little thing.” I tease back with my own chuckle before starting to get up as well.

Lil pushes me gently back down though. “I want to try.”

“Try?”

“To be the one making you a meal.” She smiles softly, her humanity shining through, before the animal kiss comes that nearly sucks my breath from me.

I kiss back, hell I nearly pull her back to my lap, before I think better and break the kiss. “Thank you, Lil.”

“For?”

“Trying.”

She smirks and leans to put her lips to my ear. “I like trying new things for you, Jason.”

I watch her as she heads towards the kitchen. I doubt Lil cooking is going to end very well, I’ve never seen her make anything that didn't require her to simply open a box and pour out its contents, but the gesture gives me hope for her future...for our future.

***///***

 _"...light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul." ~ Humbert Humbert, Lolita_


End file.
